Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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