Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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