I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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