Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
