i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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