somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
