Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
