No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
