The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
