So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
