So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
