Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
