Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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