Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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