Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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