Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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