Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize