You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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