it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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