how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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