I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
