conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
