Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
