Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
