Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize