capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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