I just found puke in my bra..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We're too hungover to prance.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
