hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
