that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
