There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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