We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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