Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
