I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
