I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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