Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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