So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
