he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
