1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize