ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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