well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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