IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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