I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
you never un-have a 4some
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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