I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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