Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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