When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
