It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
