So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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