That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
