I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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