ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
