just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I believe in your delicious
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
