ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
