dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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