Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
