just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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