Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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