This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
