you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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