I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
