so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
