i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
