And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
