I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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