A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Randomize
