i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
