she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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